Now that we have our valid tv licence, I can safely comment on what is broadcast on South African television screens without trying to concoct fantastic reasons for having seen something on tv. Before we got our tv licence we couldn’t enter any of those sms competitions, lest they demanded to see a valid tv licence. But of course they don’t do that.

And I should know because the television production company I am co-founder and partner in ran an sms competition on SABC 3 in 2006 and we never demanded to see a valid tv licence from any of the people who won on our show. Nonetheless, better safe than sorry.

Now that we have our tv licence, however, we only use it to watch the news and to enter sms competitions with prizes that appeal to us. This means that on Thursday nights at 19h30, you will find us watching Top Billing so that we stand a chance to win their competitions that offer prizes, like travelling to game lodges and other places we wouldn’t ordinarily be able to afford visiting. Of course, in keeping with our better-safe-than-sorry approach, S enters the competitions as the valid licence is in his name.

Now Top Billing, or rather Tswelopele, has gone and started Top Travel on SABC 3 on Saturday evenings. I imagine that if ETv ever did a top twenty of South Africa’s richest women (like that American show that SABC screens on Wednesdays at 19h30) Patience Stevens would have to feature. I am wondering about this because I wonder how they would script the bit about her milking her TOP cow. I think only ETv could come up with a suitably ridiculous script. And maybe I could write it for them …